Jan 30th, 2014

I woke up at 7 and inhaled a quick breakfast of top ramen, diet soda, and a clove of raw garlic. I caught the bus and was at work just in time.

I had 24 minutes to make it from base to Waikiki for my first pickup. It is about 10 miles and it takes about 30 minutes with no traffic, but this is Honolulu and there is always traffic. I made it just in time and began my day.

I realized today that I sit in traffic for 12 hours a day. Maybe that is the reason I am so stressed.

The job I applied to over the weekend has a physical agility test. Along with a 1.5 mile run, 300 meter sprint, sit ups and bench press, I have to do 24 push-ups in under a minute. When I trained in MMA, I did push-ups all the time, but I have been getting soft in my old age. During the 3 hours if down time I had today, I went to the back if the van and started doing push-ups, just to see how many I could do. I did 10 and then my arms became as stable as a bipolar widow on Christmas morning. My ears were popping uncontrollably and tears were pouring down my cheeks. I managed to do 24 push-ups, but it took over a minute and a half. I have a lot of work to do.

My arms and chest were sore for the rest of the day.

Around 8 the dispatcher was sending people home so once I finished my run I called in hoping to be sent home. The dispatcher told me that I had another call waiting for me downstairs at baggage claim. I drive down and sat in the van for an hour waiting for my guests. I finally got bored so I called the dispatch center and asked about the status of my passengers. “Oh, they were a no-show” was the reply I received. They just forgot to tell me 45 minutes earlier. I was told to put the rig away and go home. I missed the bus at 10, so I waited 45 minutes for the next bus to take me home. Rebecca was already asleep by the time I got home.

Jan 29th, 2014

I woke up at 7 and made top ramen and was on the bus at 7:45, well I was at the bus stop at 7:45. The bus came at 7:58. I made it to work just in time for my 9 o’clock shift.

I ended up transporting 2 different couples who live in Mukilteo, which is the town in which I grew up. They were old and crotchety and seemed rather annoyed that I was talking to them at all. I figured that being such a small town we must know some of the same people. I think they viewed me as some sort of threat. They must know that I am not happy about paying in to social security and having them squander it on lavish vacations.

Once again I figured that since I started at 9 I might be off by 6 or 7, I figured wrong. At 8:30 I was dropping off at the airport and they told me to rush down stairs and pick up a group that just landed that was supposed to arrive at 2 in the afternoon. Their flight was delayed 5 hours for “mechanical problems.” I knew they would be in a rather unpleasant mood so I tried to lighten the mood with my quick whit. Once they were all on the bus, I told them that I was very sorry but the bus had broken down and it would take about 5 hours to fix. I was hoping for good hearted laughter, a friendly pat on the back, or at least to have an older gentleman tussle my hair and say “you’re all-right kid.” Instead my joke was met with 10 angry, tired and annoyed stares. I climbed in the drivers seat and asked if anyone would like me to drive around the airport a few times so they could see it. The silence was very uncomfortable.

I was able to warm them up by making jokes about how cold it has been here lately. They were all from the Midwest and that got them all talking about how cold it was back home.

By the end of the ride I was able to make most of them laugh with my improvised tour. One person onboard was in her early teens so I pointed out a pay phone like it was an archaeological expedition. I told her that a long, long time ago, we didn’t have phones in our pockets, we had to find one of those and always carry around quarters to call people.

I got off at 10 and caught the 10:30 bus home. Rebecca was already asleep and I have to work at 9 again tomorrow so I took a shower and went to bed.

Jan 28th, 2014

I woke up at 8 and had some of the pizza that Rebecca made last night for breakfast. I took the bus to work and started at 9:30.

For the last few days, I have been eating a clove of raw garlic right before I go to bed and again when I wake up. It is my understanding that this will help fight off any cold or flu that might get coughed on me by one of the many people who don’t cover their mouth when they cough or sneeze. I got a text from my dear wife tonight begging me not to eat any garlic before I go to bed because of the smell. This only confirms my belief that she may be part vampire. I will continue to test this theory with mirrors, holy water and crosses. I will keep you posted on my findings.

Most of the day was blurred together with all of the other shifts. I thought since I started at 9:30, about 3 hours earlier than I normally start, that I would be sent home about 3 hours earlier that I normally get sent home. I ended up leaving the yard at 10:30. I worked 13 hours but only got paid for 10 1/2 because of down time.

I walked to the bus stop and saw the road the bus usually takes was under construction and the freeway on ramp was closed. I had to walk 20 minutes, past 4 stops to catch a bus. Needless to say I missed the bus I had intended to catch and had to wait 50 minutes for another bus.

I didn’t get home until almost 1 and I have to be back at work at 9 which means I have to catch the bus at 7:30.

Jan 27th, 2014

I called work at 9:30 like I was instructed and they told me to come in at 1. I didn’t feel like going in early so I stayed home and studied until I had to leave.

Once on the bus, we were jammed in there like Chinese people in a cargo container. It was standing room only and the driver kept yelling at everyone to move to the back. I was pressed up against an old Chinese lady who refused to move back. I say old but after they turn 40, they tend to look a lot like the Emperor from Star Wars, so you never really know how old they are. As we rode down the street, the gentleman behind me got up to get off. The old broad in front if me was trying to push me out if the way so she could sit down. I was moving so the guy could get up and the puppy eater was pushing me into him. She finally got so fed up of not being able to move me that she juked left, and spun right and went right under my arm and sat down. About a half hour later I was able to find a seat near the back. I was minding my own business when an old Asian man sat way too close to me. I could feel the body heat transfer as our arms were mushed together. To make things worse, he got on his phone and began having a conversation at 137 decibels. It sounded like he was trying to call in an air strike during a fire fight.

I got to work and started a fun day of sitting in traffic. I got off at 9:30 and Rebecca came and picked me up so we could see each other at least once this week.

Jan 26th, 2014

We woke up and we each made our own breakfast. Rebecca had cereal and I had grilled cheese and diet soda. I had received an email from one of the businesses that I have been wanting to apply to for the last 2 months. The message said there was a position open, and to send in my resume right away

We went back to the church from 2 weeks ago. We didn’t sit in the visitors section because I didn’t want to get yelled at again. Just like last time, no one talked to us. I figure I will try out a church at least twice just to see if anything changes.

After church we went to lunch and bought groceries and then we sat around for the rest of the day. It was raining off and on, so going to the beach wasn’t really an option. It was a great relaxing day.

Jan 25th, 2014

I woke up at 8 and got ready for the job fair. I was expecting only a handful of people to show up. I got there right at 9 and it took 15 minutes to find parking. I finally parked in a grassy lot and walked to the back if the line.

The line stretched around 3 buildings of the elementary school. They said there were 200 positions to be filled and at least 2000 people showed up. I stood in line for 3 hours listening to the guy behind me trying way too hard to impress the girl next to him. He talked the entire time. He talked about everything from video games and tv shows to his goldfish dying when he was 5 and watching a boy poop his pants at camp when he was 13. I only heard an occasional “uh huh” and “yeah” from the girl who seemed trapped and desperate for a way out.

After 3 hours in line, I was granted a 3 minute interview. They said I would hear from them in 3-4 weeks. I left feeling like I had wasted my day off. I drove to the bank to deposit my check and became so furious with traffic, lack of parking and wandering pedestrians that I had to eat something before I thought I might implode in a fiery rage.

I ended up at a restaurant and ordered Chinese food and ate in silence. I then went home and Rebecca and I went to the Apple store to buy a new battery for her lap top and then we went to Office Depot to spend an exciting Saturday buying school supplies.

As I walked in a guy greeted me and asked “hello sir, what brings you in today?” I pointed over my shoulder with my thumb and replied “my wife, she told me to be on my best behavior and not to touch anything.” He laughed and went to help Rebecca find what she needed while I made myself comfortable in an office chair.

We went home, changed and walked into Waikiki for the NFL Pro Bowl Block Party. The street was closed off and there were stages with mascots, cheerleaders, auctions and live bands. There were people everywhere, and they were all in their team’s jerseys. We got some garlic shrimp and people watched for a while. It was a really cool party, a lot like tailgating. We took the bus home and I did laundry and went to bed.

Jan 24th, 2014

I woke up and had beans for breakfast….. Again. I called in to work and was told to be there by 1. I took the 12:05 bus and made it just in time.

My first run was transporting a family of 9 from the airport. About halfway through the trip, the 11 year old daughter asked “daddy, are you going to get drunk every day like you did last year?” The mom turned around in her seat and said “you leave dad alone, this is his vacation.” I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing.

I took another NFL player and coach to their hotel on the west side of the island. I got to the airport with 5 minutes to spare and I really had to pee so I ran into baggage claim and found the bathroom. It was closed for cleaning. I leaned my head in and asked the frail old Asian lady if I could use the restroom. She told me to wait. I stood there doing the pee pee dance for what felt like forever. I saw the guests leaving baggage claim and figured it would only take me 45 seconds to pee and wash my hands. The old broad kept holding up her hand motioning for me to wait. I didn’t have time. I ran back to my rig just in time to meet the guests and then had to sit in traffic for 93 minutes. I really hope the lady cleaning the bathroom slips on the wet floor and shatters her hip.

I did a few more runs and I got off at 11. Rebecca came to pick me up and then she went right to bed. I shaved and got stuff ready for a job fair tomorrow morning.

Jan 23rd, 2014

I woke up at 10 and talked to my niece while I heated up beans for breakfast. I called in at noon and they told me to be there at 2:30 so I showed up at 1. They gave me an early run and I didn’t have a single minute of down time. I actually got paid the entire 9 hours I was working. The only bad part about that, is I have a test tomorrow for my medical terminology class and I have yet to read the chapter.

During one run, we were stuck in traffic and I was talking to my passengers and I asked where they were from. 2 people in the back said they were from Denver. I asked if they were Broncos fans and they said yes. With a straight face, I opened the door to the bus and said “this is where you get out.” Everyone had a good chuckle and we talked about the awful season the Texans had.

I got back to base at 10 and made it to the bus stop with only 10 minutes until the bus came. I was home around 11:30 and Rebecca was asleep. I haven’t seen her since Monday afternoon

Jan 22nd, 2014

Last night I had a dream that I was on a ship out to sea during a storm. The waves were crashing over the sides and I was setting sprayed with a warm salty mist. I woke up abruptly to Rebecca was closing the window above the bed because the rain was coming in and getting us wet.
I woke up at 10 and against my better judgment I went to Taco Bell for breakfast and then caught the bus to work. I was there an hour early and I was able to get assigned a run early.

The manager came up to me today and put his hand on my shoulder. I immediately recognized this as a show of dominance. He told me that I am not allowed to park my private vehicle on the property and that I was supposed to park on the street. I wanted to completely destroy the established dominance so I reached out, put my hand on his hip, and politely thanked him for letting me know, and told him that I cannot afford to buy a car so I take the bus to work. I thought about going in for an awkward hug, but decided against it. The only thing I could have done to make it more awkward would be if I had tilted my head to the side, closed my eyes and opened my mouth ever so slightly.

At 7, I had just started one of my runs. I was loading passengers in the van to go to the airport when dispatch called me on my phone asking me to disregard that run for a city lights tour. I explained that I already had passengers aboard and was told to drop them off a different hotel and someone else would pick them up.

I dropped them off and headed to the pier where I picked up 10 non English speaking tourists and took them up above the city to a mountain cliff that looks out over the city lights. After about 30 minutes I took them back to their hotel and headed back to base.

I got to base at 9:45 and they wanted me to wait around off the clock and then do a pickup at the airport at 11:30. The last bus for the night leaves at 12:18 and I would never have made it back in time to catch the last ride home. I explained my situation to the now annoyed dispatcher and he told me to put the rig away and go home.

I only had to wait 20 minutes for the bus this time.

Jan 21st, 2014

I woke up at 9 and did my first quiz for my medical terminology class. It was all questions from the syllabus which I glanced at once but didn’t bother to read. I only missed one question but I was able to retake it and I aced it.

I got ready for work and was already on the bus when I called in at noon. They told me to be there at 2, but I was there at 12:45 ready to go. They gave me a run early.

Later on in the afternoon I got to pick up an NFL player and his wife and take them to their hotel where all the other pro bowl players are staying. I didn’t recognize him right away because without the pads, helmet, and numbered jersey with their name on the back they appear smaller and more human. They are all staying at the Ihilani resort over on the west side of the island. It took almost 2 hours to get there because of traffic and I don’t know that side of the island so I was unable to point anything out or entertain them with my witty banter.

I dropped them off and became lost in a maze of dead ends and immaculately manicured lawns. I finally found my way out and headed back to the airport.

My next run was a couple on holiday from Australia. I entertained them with my vast knowledge of all things Australia and my spot-on impression of Steve Irwin. “Crikey, that sting ray just jabbed me right in the ticker (pronounced tickah).”

I decided I needed a burger so I went to Wendy’s and got 2 chicken sandwiches. After my first bite of the second sandwich, I could hear and feel everything inside of my stomach gurgle like a volcano about to erupt. I knew it was only a matter of time before those chicken sandwiches declared jihad on the inside of my trousers. I finished my run and ended up following the passengers into the hotel lobby so I could use their bathroom.

Later on, I ended up taking the aunt and cousin of one of the pro bowl players to the Aulani hotel which is owned by Disney and right next to the Ihilani. As I dropped them off, it suddenly started pouring. I drove the 45 minutes home doing 60 with the window down. It was just like being back in Seattle only 40 degrees warmer.

I got back to base at 11 and only had to wait 30 minutes for the bus. I got home around midnight and went to bed.