September 29th, 2014

I awoke at 9 and chugged a rock star and then headed to work where I had yet another rock star. I was so wired it was a miracle my heart didn’t explode out of my chest and start doing push-ups. It started off slow so to entertain myself I would walk up to a coworker with a salt shaker, pour a little into my hand and then toss the salt on them and say “I just a-salted you”. Each time I did it to someone new we would have a good chuckle abut it and then I’d walk off to find a new victim.

It was kind of busy today, I ended up making more in the lunch shift than I did yesterday in my dinner shift. I got off at 5 and headed to the grocery store to buy stuff to make fajitas for dinner. After dinner I took a quick power nap and caught up on some shows I have wanted to see.

This marks the 365th entry into this blog post. Its hard to believe that we moved to this beautiful paradise one year ago tomorrow. We have been blessed with so many answered prayers during our time here. We found a place to live, we both got jobs right away, Rebecca finally began her career as a teacher, and I am well on my way to becoming a paramedic. There have been some rough times dealing with home sickness and life’s obstacles, but I truly believe that being here together has strengthened our marriage and made us both better people. I can’t wait to see what the next year will bring.

Sept 28th, 2014

We woke up and went back to the church we had been attending until the summer. We’ve decided to give it another try. Especially because the summer is over and the lead pastor is back from vacation. After church we went home where I cooked up the chicken and vegetables that I had been marinating in balsamic vinegar over night. It wasn’t as good as I had been expecting.

Work started out alright. I was in a completely different section again, but I didn’t bother anyone in my usual section. I greeted a table who were from China, they said they needed more time so I turned to talk to my other table. I was taking their order when the lady from China started waving at me and yelling “Hey! Hey! We ready to order!” I turned to look at her and said “I’ll be with you in a moment” and finished taking the order from the other table. They ended up leaving nothing on a $60 tab, but I wasn’t sucked at all.

The mall closes at 7 on Sundays and we were almost empty around 8. I got home right around 10 and started looking to see how my teams did in my Fantasy Football leagues. Tony Romeo didn’t practice all week so I let him go, then he decides to have the game of his life. I won in one league and lost in the other. I’m 1-3 and 3-1. I guess it evens out.

Sept 27th, 2014

I woke up and after breakfast Rebecca and I went to the grocery store where we bought food for us to eat. We came home and I started preparing my lunch to take to work.

Once work started I was in a different section that I usually am. For some reason or another I always have the same three tables. Tonight I was a section over but I didn’t mind. While I was waiting to get a table, I was wandering around keeping myself occupied. When I came back to the front I noticed people sitting at one of my tables so I went over and introduced myself and started going through the specials. Right about that time another server came over with their drinks. I looked up and realized that they weren’t in my section. We all had a good laugh and I went back to trying to look busy.

There was a giant rave going on tonight, and quite a few coworkers were there. We were commenting on how smooth the night was going without them there and laughed about how there should be raves every weekend.

I got home around 11:30 and stayed up way too late watching kung-fu movies.

Sept 26th, 2014

I woke up and did the usual eggs and Portuguese sausage for breakfast while preparing a lunch to take to work. It was miserably humid today so I had my new box fan pointing at me all afternoon.

I got to work at my usual time and enjoyed my lunch while watching a kung-fu movie on my phone. Once work started it was pretty boring. The managers keep pushing us to sell a special item that isn’t in the menu yet. I don’t think I’ve sold one yet. I’ll push them when there is a picture in the menu, but trying to explain a special to foreign tourists who don’t understand English doesn’t seem like fun. We usually communicate by pointing to the pictures in the menu.

The restaurant emptied out around 8 and I was sent to the office to deposit cash. I was back there for 3 hours bored out of my mind. I had checked every app on my phone at least twice. I think I need some new games. I got home at midnight and saw a letter from the Police Department. I hurriedly opened it hoping it was a piece of a treasure map, or keys to a Lamborghini seized in a drug raid. I was not so lucky. They were politely informing me that I did not qualify for the next round of the hiring process. I am kinda bummed out. I have been trying to become a cop since last December when I took an all day bus ride around the island and tried to figure out what I should do with my life. Later on that week I applied for a police officer. I took the written test in April, the psychological test at the end of August, and I turned in a huge background check in September. It was a very lengthy process to get kicked to the curb like that.

Sept 25th, 2014

I woke up and made breakfast while simultaneously preparing lunch. I did a load of laundry and then tended to my garden before going to work.

Work was ok. I can’t think of a single thing worth mentioning.

Sept 24th, 2014

I woke up and waited, and waited, and waited for the moped shop to call and tell me my moped was finished, finally at 12:30 I got the call. The battery had died and they charged it all night and it would still not hold a charge. I had the option of paying $60 for a new battery, or $30 for a “trusted” used one. I took the cheapest route. With my new found freedom I rode straight to Walmart to return a pair of “slip resistant” shoes I bought 2 weeks ago. There was no slip protection and they made my feet hurt so I brought them back. They will most likely end up in the dumpster, but I am OK with that. I also bought a $20 box fan to put in our front room to move some of the stagnant air around and cool things off a bit.

I dropped the fan off at home and went to the hardware store where I bought the cheapest section of hose I could find, and a nozzle to spray my plants. Once I got home and turned the water on I realized the hose was perforated. Millions of tiny holes let the water escape the hose to water shrubs and such. I used an entire roll of duct tape to wrap the hose, but I’m sure it won’t work. I also planted new grass seeds to fill in some bare spots.

I made dinner and then took a shower so I was clean once Rebecca came home. We ate and then I took her out against her will to get desert. I tried to tell her that had I gone to buy two deserts and bring them back home, zero deserts would make it back to the house. Once we got home she watched Survivor and I watched a movie about a guy who fights bad guys who want to blow up his elephant.

Sept 23rd, 2014

I woke up and rode to the moped shop to drop off my wheels. Ever since I got a tune up last week it won’t start using the ignition, I have to kick start it, which I’m told is not good for the engine I dropped it off at 11:30 and walked back home to await a call. At 12:45 the guy called me to ask what was wrong. I dropped it off when the mechanic was not in the shop. I thought it would be a quick fix so I walked back to the shop. Right when I got there the mechanic was taking another moped on a test run so I kept walking. I ended up walking 2 to the bank where I deposited my tips, and then I walked back to the shop where the receptionist told me it wasn’t done yet. I walked back home because the shop has a strict “No Customer Restroom” policy. I did my business and walked back up to the shop where I waited 40 minutes for the mechanic to return and tell me that my moped wouldn’t be ready until tomorrow. It was now 6 in the evening and I had just wasted an entire day off walking around. Had I known it would taken so long I would have rode the bus to a beach and relaxed all day. I went home and then Rebecca sent me out to pick up dinner and a movie.

We rented the new Muppets movie, I absolutely loved those movies when I was a kid, but some childhood memories are better left in child hood. As an “adult” the singing bothered me and the predictable slap-stick humor bored me. The other movie we rented was about 2 single parents who go on vacation with their kids and the two families blend together. Rebecca went to bed at 10 and I stayed up watching a documentary about how Abraham Lincoln could have avoided assassination had he been taking a selfie when John Wilkes Booth entered the theater, Lincoln would have seen the gun in the screen of his phone and karate chopped his assailant which other people might have filmed on their phones. The other theory was that had Jackie Kennedy been allowed to use her phone in the convertible back in 1963, the glare from her screen would have blinded Lee Harvey Oswald and he would have never gotten the shot. I learned that she spent so much time Instagraming almost everything, so the secret service would take her phone away when the president was traveling to avoid a security breach. They briefly mentioned that Napoleon lost at Waterloo because of his tweet “LOL Duke Of Wellington this he is soooo tough, I’m gunna leave my right flank open jus to spite him” The Seventh Coalition read his tweet and defeated him by driving through the right flank. Ok enough history, I’m going to bed

Sept 22nd, 2014

I woke up at 9 and started the day off with an energy drink and a shower. I quickly got ready and headed to work, stopping only to get yet another energy drink. It was my triumphant return to morning shift, and I wasn’t about to let a little fatigue slow me down.

The first difference I noticed about morning shift was how bright it was, there was also a constant breeze flowing through the restaurant that kept everything cool. For the first few hours I had only foreign tourists and the tips were not great. I finally had a English speaking table who had asked to be sat in the back. It was 2 ladies (I use that term loosely) and their 4 kids. I have no idea who’s kids belonged to who, but I didn’t care. The first red flag was them asking me the prices of everything. When they did place their order, it was very specific and heavily modified. “I want this fish dish, but I want chicken instead of fish, and I want this sauce instead of the usual sauce”. Next she lady instructed me to bring her food out right away and not let it sit under the heat lamp. I rang every single item in separately so it would come out right away and not sit under the heat lamp waiting for the rest of the order. One of their three appetizers came out, a sampler platter which had spicy chicken strips, she told me the chicken was too spicy and that she needed chicken without the spice. I informed her that it was the same sauce we used on the chicken wings which she had no problem eating. No reply. I went to the kitchen and asked for non spicy chicken strips. The rest of their meal came out and they sent me to fetch things like ranch, forks, soda refills and mustard. They didn’t ask for everything at once, but each time I came to the table I was sent away to fetch something else like an errand boy. I was still trying to take care of my other tables back in my regular section at the same time. Two adult women and four kids, all but one under 2 years old ordered 7 menu items, as soon as I dropped the check which was $100, they started to complain about the food. One of the items in the sampler they ordered had fish, which one of the women was “allergic to”. They were also upset that the kids meals didn’t come with drinks. I told my manager what was going on and he took off 3 items totaling $25. When I brought the new check, they asked me for boxes to take the food home they originally “didn’t like”. I have seen this trick before. They do a complicated order hoping the server messes up so they don’t have to pay for it, if that doesn’t work they say they didn’t like it so they don’t have to pay for it. The new bill was $80.73 and she gave me a fist full of crumpled up bills and told me to keep the change, but asked me for a bag to take all the food home that they “didn’t like”. I took the money and went to fetch the bag. She had given me $85. I was livid. Its bad enough that they took up so much of my time, and treated me like the help, but $4.27 on a $100 tab is just insulting. I went back to the table to see if they left any extra money and noticed a huge pile of trash and food under the table.

I got home around 4 and Rebecca and I went to Yardhouse to take advantage of their happy hour menu. I got spring rolls and pizza and Rebecca got nachos. After dinner we went home to relax and I finished Mad Max and then watched 3 hours of sports center online.

Sept 21st, 2014

I woke up at 9 and started cooking breakfast while I was waiting for the Seahawks game to start. We don’t have cable so I had to stream the game on my computer, I think its asinine to charge $60 for the year to watch a game online that I could watch for free if I lived in the state the game was being played. I found an alternative site to watch the game, and by the end of the first quarter I wished I had paid for the NFL mobile subscription. The feed would cut out at the beginning of a play, and then I would see the huddle, and then it would cut out again. I was tempted to put my fist through the screen, but I kept my inner Ray Rice hidden away in the elevator of my heart. I found another site that was on a delay which wasn’t a problem because I hadn’t actually seen a play yet. This site would play for about 8 seconds and then freeze for about 20 seconds and then resume again. By the time I got to half time the third quarter was almost done.

Right about the 4th quarter the site froze completely and I had to find another site. This new one was not on a delay and the Broncos had somehow scored 9 points. This site was better than the others because it didn’t have as much lag… until overtime started. The connection was lost or something and by the time I found another site to show the game it was over. I was both happy that we had won, and let down that I didn’t get to see the ending.

I made lunch and showered and then headed to work. Things were going great until I went to do trivia with two of my tables and I just froze, I had a huge lump in my throat and I couldn’t talk for a few seconds. I was nervous and embarrassed beyond belief. I have done trivia hundreds of times, I know the movie backwards and forwards but for some reason I became very timid. I powered through it and finished the trivia and went to the walk in to relax for a bit. The rest of the night didn’t go much better.

Sept 20th,2014

I woke up around 9 and made breakfast. After we ate, we headed off to the grocery store to buy food for the week. We headed home and I made lunch while watching Mad Max.

It was muggy again today to work, its way too sticky to be walking around in circles with no air conditioning. There is a Japanese Boy Band on the island for a huge reunion tour. Three days ago 18,000 Japanese tourists came to the island specifically for the concert which is on the west side of the island. I was reading in the news that the gates didn’t open until 4:30, and by 7 am there were thousands of people waiting patiently in line. For the first time since I started working here, all of my tables spoke English. I didn’t have to endure people pointing at the menu and grunting “This one”. It was really nice. I had a pretty good night, much better than last night. The only down fall of the day was learning that the Sounders lost 4-1